The Ultimate Killer Dirty Martini, By “Uncle” Dave


  • One (1) elegant “Man Sized” martini glass
  • Martini and Rossi Vermouth
  •  Your favorite vodka (the author prefers Pinnacle, Stoli’s or Absolute)
  • Olive juice
  • One chrome cocktail shaker
  • Your favorite stuffed olives (the author prefers Garlic, Blue Cheese or Feta stuffed)
  • Silver Toothpicks


I have never had a martini before……

My friend Dave, (“Uncle” Dave to my son, Nicky) one of the group of my closest friends, known as “the  Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” introduced me to the drink.

He also introduced me to Absinthe, a drink that involves a sugar cube in a spoon and an arcane ritual with flames and fire…. That was the night when we decided that we should obtain a copy of Van Gogh’s “Self Portrait”…. the one with the bandage over the missing ear (as he had decided to cut the ear off and send it to his girlfriend as a profession of his love, guys do the dumbest stuff when drunk) to remind us of the hazards of drinking such a potion ever again…..

Van Gogh with missing ear…love stinks…

We also bought a fire extinguisher….

Dave used to live across the hall from me in our apartments above the Drawbridge Inn, once the best bar and restaurant in Mystic, Connecticut, sadly gone now. He had a habit of knocking on the door and, when I opened the door, would thrust some alcoholic concoction in my hand saying “Here, drink this”….

“What is it?” I would ask….

“Don’t be a sissy, just drink it”…..

I think I was his guinea pig……

But, I digress. It was an unseasonably warm evening (low 50’s) in February in Kittery Maine. We had driven up from Connecticut to spend the weekend with Dave and his wife, Sally. Our first trip to Maine. After a wonderful steak dinner, which included much wine, I was standing on the back patio when Dave comes out with two cigars and two HUGE glasses with three olives on a silver toothpick immersed in a slightly cloudy liquid.

“Here, drink this”…..

“What is it?”

“It’s a Dirty Martini, don’t be a sissy…just drink it”…..

The first sip damn near knocked me on my @ss, but after that the drink went down smooth and tasted very good. Slightly salty but with a bite to the aftertaste. I even ate the olives….and I hated olives before this experience. So, naturally, I had to have another….

I don’t remember much after the second drink but I was not in jail when I woke up the next morning, still had all my clothes on and felt surprisingly good…. I’ve been hooked on the cocktail ever since.

I had Dave teach me his method of making the cocktail. In addition to mixing the ingredients he also taught me that preparing a good martini is an art form in itself.

Martini glassware….”Man Sized” glasses are left and middle….

Take your elegant  “Man Sized” martini glass and pour a splash (about 1/8th inch) Martini and Rossi vermouth in the bottom. Tilt the glass on it’s side till the liquid is just below the rim and slowly rotate the glass. This will cause the vermouth to coat the inside of the glass. Once the inside is completely coated pour out the excess vermouth. Using the cap from your cocktail shaker, pour two (2) measures (jiggers) of vodka (about 4 oz) into your ice filled shaker. Dave used Pinnacle vodka for this (excellent!) and, depending on the size of your glass, you may want to pour 3 jiggers/6 oz. Then pour in 3/4 jigger of olive juice for 4oz of vodka or 1 and 1/2 jiggers for 6oz into your shaker. Replace the lid AND the cap and shake vigorously for 7 shakes. Remove cap and strain liquid into your martini glass. Take your silver (or chrome) toothpicks and spear 3 stuffed olives of your choosing. For my first martini Dave used garlic stuffed. As martini making is an art, the fluid level should be about 1/4″ below the rim of your glass when done to create a pleasing presentation of the cocktail.

Tools of the Trade……Note the toothpicks… Though not mentioned in the article these are stainless steel and are perfectly acceptable for presentation purposes……

Martinis have also influenced a  whole sub genre of art. From advertising posters to paintings to neon signs, shakers and barware.

Michael Godard – “Even Dirtier Martini”

Even some glassware are works of art….

martini flute with glass olive                         molded into stem


With an elegant glass, correct fluid level and silver (or chrome) toothpicks your Ultimate Killer Dirty Martini can be your own tasty masterpiece of art! Cheers!